Grand Designs has no right being as interesting as it
is. After all it is a series about building houses and is suffused in the
minutiae of the trade- rivets, render, budgets, bricks, mortar and mortgages.
Yet for almost 20 years it has been one of the most watchable television
programmes around. In case you’ve never seen it, the premise is filming ambitious
building projects often over years from planning to completion. Every few
months host Kevin McCloud pops in to check on progress often declaring that he’s
not sure whether the thing will be finished let alone be aesthetically correct.
At the end though he is impressed enough to deliver a three minute monologue
about the qualities of the house often veering into poetic reverie over gutters
or huge windows.
A lot of
programmes are described as `reality tv` when in fact they are artificial
situations manufactured to derive the desired responses like I’m A Celebrity or cooking contests. Grand Designs on the other hand is very
real for those involved. It has no guaranteed outcome – filming often starts before
a hole is dug and sometimes ends before the entire thing is complete. Along the
way we see relationships between customer and contractors strained, budgets run
out, peculiar planning rules bring matters to a halt or very real accidents.
This is real life- often the result
of these problems is potential financial ruin and the ultimate possession of a
white elephant of a place. So when it goes right- which most of them do in the
end- it is a moment of rapture for the customer, presenter and viewer alike. Somehow it feels like we've all shared in the stress and strains of the build.
The sort of
projects the programme specialises in are ambitious ones. An eco house built
into the side of a hill, a building slotted into a narrow odd space between
other buildings, a dwelling that sits on land by a river, a barn conversion or
a restoration of a crumbling listed and also listing building that can’t even
stand up on its own. There have been houses built out of tyres filled with mud
or constructed from timber sourced from nearby trees. There have been houses
made in empty churches, an old water tank and in one case a castle! New builds
have been all shapes and sizes- a lot of the finished ones are reminiscent of
office spaces with balconies overlooking vast hallways while others use
recycled materials to coat the exterior, “It’ll look fine in five years time”
they try and convince us (and probably themselves).
One of the most
gruelling was a timber house in the middle of a forest constructed using wood
from nearby trees. Some of the builds involve contacting neighbours who never
look happy- there was one where the site encroached on the back gardens of over
a dozen people.. Some are super sleek- I remember one house whose walls and
roof were constructed in a German factory before being sent over here and
winched into place like a gigantic building toy.
These Herculean
projects seem like they can never be achieved despite the breezily narrated
computer simulation yet 55 minutes later we are walking through white walled,
subtly lit , gleaming kitchens because against all the odds it has happened.
Inevitably
certain aspects repeat themselves however differing the projects are. These are
Grand Designs’ most familiar things –
# People
without any such experience wanting to act as their own project manager to save
money.
# The
increasingly sophisticated computer designs of what the finished house will
look like. The latest ones are markedly more flexible and realistic than in the
early series. And always the roof floats through the air and lands on top of
the building in the exact opposite of how it is in real life.
# Projects with
wholly unrealistic deadlines “we’ll be moving in by Xmas” they say prompting Kevin to cheekily ask “Xmas
next year?!”
# The long
suffering `other half`- a husband or wife or partner who clearly does not have
the same deeply involved interest in the project and looks increasingly pale as
the cash drains away on some radical cladding.
# The windows
not being delivered before winter time meaning the interior of the just
completed walls is open to the elements.
# The money
running out and the work coming to a halt.
# Enormous
quadruple glazed windows that have to made in Norway or somewhere and shipped
here. Only when they are being installed does anyone ask; “Will they fit inside
the frame?”
# The
expression on the contractor’s face when the do it yourself project manager
decides to change something after the walls have been put up.
# Enormous
kitchens. Everyone wants enormous kitchens.
# Underfloor
heating. That’s heating under the concrete so what happens if it goes off?
Nobody ever asks this- do they have to drill into the floor to fix it?
# Nobody has
curtains or blinds meaning the families every move is able to be seen by
neighbours unless the house is in the middle of nowhere (and sometimes they
are).
#The View.
There is always a signature View to be had – unless its one of those houses in
the middle of an urban location- and this View is always magnificent.
#The cladding.
Few projects are content to just have bricks or render for the exterior . Oh no
it has to be reflective zinc patterned tiles or in one case old metal sheeting
that would degenerate over the years.
# The final
approval. The lime coated triangular spire is “a triumph” after all and as
Kevin traverses the finished interior, up the bespoke floating staircase he
finds that the house which 55 minutes earlier seemed like it would be a disaster is
actually incredible.
All the way
through Kevin McC challenges and gently warns the people about
the risks and issues at hand and is not averse to demonstrating these with
small scale models. Halfway through he is never sure – either due to aesthetic,
technical or financial reasons- that it will work but by the end he is
rhapsodising about the curves or how it is at one with its surroundings. Being
both an expert and a good presenter he makes the series more interesting than
it might otherwise be. I’ve only seen
one episode where the project fails and that was someone who tried to construct
a floating house by sticking all kinds of materials on the outside of a boat
which was as bad as it sounds.
First shown in
1999 there have so far been 198 different projects featured and the series
continues towards its 20th anniversary next year. Its spawned spin
offs, foreign versions, a regular magazine and Grand Designs Live, a show the public can visit. And it has
probably inspired viewers to ponder on the practicalities of constructing a
circular house perched on the edge of hillside with a viewing tower clad in hazelnuts
and a room made solely out of crystals. Next series perhaps?
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