Top of the Pops 18 Dec 1986 and 1 Jan 1987 DOUBLE BILL!

 

Reviewed by Chris Arnsby. 18/12/86: Mike Smith: “Well, good evening and welcome to the last Top of the Pops before Christmas. A lot to fit in, a new number one tonight, in this very studio we've got A-ha performing and just over here, fresh in from Los Angeles, please welcome, with Big Fun, The Gap Band.”
[15] The Gap Band: Big Fun. A week before Christmas and no one's put up decorations in the studio, for shame. Mike Smith makes up for this lapse by wearing a ludicrous red Christmas jumper with tinseled tree on the front, embellished on the shoulders with added jingle bells and a snowman where a pirate's parrot would normally perch. Imagine the result of a Blue Peter Christmas jumper make and you'll be close.

I don't really have anything to say about The Gap Band. Check out the camera crane move at the end. It's a 40 second epic which starts up above one of the studio scenery bridges, pans down and under the bridge and alongside The Gap Band's stage, and then moves all the way back across the studio until finally Mike Smith comes into frame, Smitty then turns to face the camera which continues moving gently while Smith turns slightly on the spot to keep facing the lens as he introduces the next song.

Top of the Pops DOUBLE BILL! 4 and 11 December 1986

 

Reviewed by Chris Arnsby. 04/12/86 - Mike Smith: “Good evening. Another extravaganza coming up for you. I'm wearing denim tonight, by the way, because we're featuring Bruce Springsteen in concert tonight amongst many other things on the show including a new number one, and over here a climber at number 14. Well it's not a climber, actually.. it's The Communards and... So Cold The Night.”

[14] The Communards: So Cold The Night. Inflation affects The Communards. According to Wikipedia they are “ a British synth-pop duo,” so why are Richard Coles and Jimmy Somerville on stage with eight other people? And, if Sarah Jane Morris isn't formally part of the group (which she should be given her importance to Don't Leave Me This Way), why has she been asked back and then not given anything to do? So many questions. Actually it's not fair to say Sarah Jane Morris hasn't been given anything to do. She's been handed some sort of rattle to play when she's not co-harmonising with Jimmy Somerville. It's not much but it's something.

 

Top of the Pops 27 November 1986

 

Scrutinised by Chris Arnsby. Gary Davies: “Hey! How ya doin'? Welcome to another Top of the Pops. In an action packed programmed tonight we have Five Star, we've got Nick Kamen, Roger Whittaker and Des O'Connor, but first we start off with those warriors of the wasteland. Here's . Frankie. Goes. To. Hollywood.”

[19] Frankie Goes to Hollywood: Warriors (of the Wasteland). An uncharacteristically surly performance. Frankie Goes to Hollywood, like Madness, are one of those bands who seemed to value appearing on Top of the Pops and worked to make each performance different. Remember the days of 1984 and Two Tribes endless stint at Number 1; Holly Johnson dressed as Norman Wisdom (for some reason); giving the audience Frankie flags to wave; Paul Rutherford probably unwisely waving around a prop gun; giving the audience flowers to wave; and, of course, the live performance on 09/08/1986 when Holly Johnson steps off the stage walks through the audience. And then there's this one. Holly Johnson lounges at the front of the stage with his hands in his suit pockets, as if he's auditioning to replace Neil Tennant in the Pet Shop Boys. Everyone else is dressed in black leather and guitarist Brian Nash stares down the camera as if he's auditioning for The Stranglers. It's certainly different, but not good different. Only drummer Ped Gill and Paul Rutherford look like they want to be there; and Rutherford's shaved off his moustache which is like the ravens leaving the Tower of London.

 

Top of the Pops 20 November 1986

 

Reviewed by Chris Arnsby. John Peel: “Hi there, and welcome to the one thousand, one hundred and eighty eighth edition of Top of the Pops.” Janice Long: “A man filled with facts. Tonight on the show we've got glam demi-gods Boni Jovi.” John Peel: “We're gonna start though with Europe.” 

[5] Europe: The Final Countdown. Europe would like it to be generally known that they are a great bunch of crazy pop mates. Check out their grinning, and pointing, and lots of microphone stand work by lead singer Joey Tempest; not his real name, his real name is James Tempest. A round of applause also for the old Status Quo standby of putting an arm round your bandmates' shoulders, for a manly hug. Plus, there's enough headbanging to dislodge even the most stubborn of nits. They are indeed, as Janice Long describes them, “a big bunch of Swedes.” Must be the leather trousers.  Patrick Moore would also just like to have a quick word and point out that if your trip to Venus has “so many light years to go,” you're heading the wrong way and need to turn around when it's safe.

Top of the Pops 13 November 1986

 

Reviewed by Chris Arnsby. Mike Smith: “A busy night tonight. We've got to cram it all. We've got Kim Wilde in the studio, Spandau Ballet are here, and on platform three waiting for a train [makes train noises] …  Spandau and Kim Wilde coming later. Here's Madness.” 

[20] Madness: Waiting For The Ghost Train. I'm not sure what happened to Mike Smith's introduction. It sounds like a rare fluff from one of the more polished hosts. The second half of the sentence is in voice over only and feels redundant. Did someone remind him he hadn't said the name of the group? Or, was Smith about to accidentally introduce Madness as Spandau Ballet before he made a last second correction?

Top of the Pops 6 November 1986

 

Presented by Chris Arsnby. Steve Wright: “Hello, good evening, and welcome to another exciting Top of the Pops!!” Peter Powell: “Thank you Steve! Right for starters here's hit fifteen, Bon Jovi!” 

[15] Bon Jovi: Livin' On A Prayer. Bon Jovi take Top of the Pops seriously. Which is a surprise. I would have assumed they were too busy to come to Shepherds Bush but here they are for the second time in two months and having a great time; lots of playing up to the camera; mucking about and grinning and pointing; and Jon Bon Jovi's been working on his Mick Jagger chicken walk. Keyboard player David Bryan is having so much fun he abandons his keyboard and comes to the front of the stage to join in on the guitar held by the one that isn't Richie Sambora... Alec John Such? Unfortunately for David he's largely off camera so his display of bonhomie is overlooked.

 

Top of the Pops DOUBLE BILL! 23 & 30 October 1986

 

Presented by Chris Arnsby. 23/10/1986 - Gary Davies: “How ya do'in'. Welcome to Top of the Pops. We've got one heck of a programme for you tonight. In the studio we have Cindy Lauper, we also have The Housemartins, on video we have Billy Idol, but first we start with the biggest climber on the chart this week. Don't Get Me Wrong, Here are The Pretenders. 

[14] The Pretenders: Don't Get Me Wrong. I find the cutting between camera angles distracting during this performance. Hilary West is credited as Vision Mixer and because the song has a strong 1, 2 beat (please remember all musical terms are almost certainly wrong) the cuts are all placed on the 1 beat. Effectively what you see on screen is 1- cut to a picture of the drummer, 2,1 -cut to a picture of the bass player, 2, 1- cut to a wide shot of the stage, 2, 1- cut back to the drummer.

The end result is an avalanche of one second cuts. It's a relief when Hilary West holds on shots of Chrissie Hynde for the lyrics before resuming the frantic cutting in the gaps between lines. I know Top of the Pops should be dynamic and exciting but this is too fast*, and it doesn't really work because it's cutting between a series of static shots. The presentation is better during some of the musical breaks when we get some nice moving crane shots.  I realise I'm starting to sound a bit like my nan; “it's too loud”, “why do they have to make the colours so bright?”,”my eyes hurt”, but I promise not to complain about Chrissie Hynde's fringe and talk about how I'd like to give her a haircut.

Top of the Pops 16 October 1986

 

Reviewed by Chris Arsnby. Steve Wright: “Hello!! Good evening!! Welcome to another exciting Top of the Pops!!” Simon Bates: “Easy boy. We've got a new number one. We also have a great video which is so over the top you won't believe. And the Pet Shop Boys to kick off with. Here's Suburbia.” Steve Wright: “Ooh!!”  

[8] Pet Shop Boys: Suburbia. The audience are feisty. Stanley Appel allows their cheers to break into the title sequence and this continues into the first song.

I really like the Pet Shop Boys but they are not the most animated of acts and yet a chorus of excited noises accompanies Neil Tennant's every move. He starts the song facing away from the crowd and is rewarded with whoops simply for turning round. Later, after the first chorus, he moves the microphone stand and you could believe he was turning somersaults on the spot. The downside of all this approval, it starts to break through Neil Tennant's aloof persona. He clearly feels the need to give the crowd more but he's no Jimmy Somerville. What's a Pop Star to do? Awkward fist pumping is the answer, although I wish it wasn't. The Pet Shop Boys have set up their traditional white computer monitor and Stanley Appel (who this week is credited as Producer & Director, how does the BBC's job title system work?) gives it two big close-ups, as if it's the third member of the group. In fact, it gets a close-up before Chris Lowe who occupies himself with playing the keyboard.

 

Top of the Pops 9 October 1986

 

With Chris Arnsby. Gary Davies: “Hey! How ya doin'. Welcome to Top of the Pops. Also welcome to Top of the Pops for the very first time to Simon Mayo.” Simon Mayo: “Thank you Gary. Great show coming up including Howard Jones and Julian Cope in the studio, that Paul Simon video, and a new number one.” Gary Davies: “Yeah. Loads of good stuff, but first we have to learn how to walk like an Egyptian. At number twenty, here are The Bangles.”

[20] Bangles: Walk Like An Egyptian. It's seven months since Simon Mayo was first introduced to the BBC1 audience on the 20/03/1986 Top of the Pops. At the time he described himself as doing “Gary's bit in the middle,” which is how Gary Davies used to refer to his lunchtime show for anyone concerned about Radio 1 initiation rituals. Simon is currently wandering from show to show as a holiday stand in, although his base is the 7.30pm Saturday evening slot (Saturday sounds and surprises, according to The Radio Times) which he inherited from Annemarie Grey. Apologies to Annemarie but I don't recognise the name, a quick Google search suggests she later worked on the BBC's Caribbean Service which relaunched in 1988. Mr Mayo has worked on his TV persona, a bit. He's mostly stopped looking at the floor, he doesn't really know what to do with his arms, and he needs to work on the self-conscious smirk which makes it look like he's about to laugh in Gary Davies' face. 6/10.

 

Top of the Pops 2 October 1986

 

Presented by Chris Arnsby. Mike Smith: “Welcome to the most heavily lacquered TV programme on the air. Will Michelle change her mind? Find out in half an hour. Until then let's go to the lofty heights... of Top of the Pops and OMD!”

[11] Orchestral Manoeuvres In The Dark: (Forever) Live And Die. Mike Smith starts October, which means this episode wasn't shown on BBC4. It's available to download in two flavours from the super-secret super-horde at https://mega.nz/folder/h0snQACa#uiNNqosfbdrfzODHsE1clw/folder/phc3iYCY

There's a copy direct from the BBC archive (good picture quality) or off-air (lower resolution but with a glimpse of the old BBC1 computer generated globe). Take your choice. Mike Smith, like a lot of the hosts, chooses to riff on the latest happenings in Albert Square. Tonight's comment relates to the never-ending saga of Lofty and Michelle. The Eastenders Wikipedia is here to help; Tuesday 30 September “Michelle tells Arthur she cannot go through with the wedding so he takes her home..” Ahh. Poor Lofty. (John- Wasn’t he even a tiny bit peeved by this?)

Top of the Pops 25 September 1986

Reviewed by Chris Arnsby. Janice Long. “Hello. On the show tonight, in the studio, we've got Loose Ends and we've got Darryl Pandy. On video we've got Huey Lewis, we've got Genesis, and we've also got Run DMC. We've brought the girls in, soon to be appearing at a venue near you because they're on tour, here are Amazulu, Montego Bay.”

[23] Amazulu: Montego Bay. Derek Slee is again credited as Lighting Director this week, he seems to be on rotation with Fred Wright. Top of the Pops normally uses big slabs of colour (purple, blue and red) to light the studio but this week Derek's decided to ring the changes. Amazulu are on the main studio stage and it's lit in a much more colourful way with greens and yellows thrown into the mix. The intensity of the lights is also dialled back, and the result is a studio with a colourful background rather than one that's shaded in moody violets (wasn't that the name of a band?). It's good. The studio looks more like a funfair and it suits the bouncy and fun feel of the song.

 

 

Top of the Pops 11 & 18 September 1986

Reviewed by Chris Arnsby 11/09/86 . Mike Smith. “Evening. Welcome to the BBC Club. Crammed in here tonight we've got Cutting Crew, Jermaine Stewart, we've also got The Psychedelic Furs, and hold on tight because here comes Sam Fox.”
[26] Samantha Fox: Hold On Tight.  The new (old) format holds true. Once again we start the new (old) way with Mike Smith talking to camera to introduce the first act. Stanley Appel is tonight's holder of the Produced & Directed by credit and he is presumably not allowed to make changes to the sacred format while Michael Hurll is in absentia. What does Stanley Appel do when he's not keeping Michael Hurll's seat warm? Not a lot according to BBC Genome. He's listed as Producer on Blankety Blank, currently in it's Les Dawson incarnation, and that's it. Blankety Blank and the occasional Top of the Pops. That seems like a cushy job. This week Blankety Blank even has a Top of the Pops crossover with Bruno Brookes as one of the panellists; along with Fred Trueman, Nerys Hughes, Derek Jameson (ugh), Eve Ferret (no idea), and Sara Hollamby (ditto). (John- According to her website she’s “a very experienced television presenter” who did Crackerjack and Wish You Were Here. Eve Ferret is an actress who was in Absolute Beginners). Sam Fox's song is no better than her previous diet Kim Wilde efforts but it at least sounds different. It's more of a rockabilly/hoe down affair. This is the last time we'll see Sam in 1986, but she'll be back in 1987. And 1989. So we've got that to look forwards to.

 

Top of the Pops 28 August & 4 September 1986

DOUBLE BILL! Reviewed by Chris Arnsby. 28 August:
[6] Jermaine Stewart: We Don't Have To... Janice Long. “Hello and welcome to a live edition of Top of the Pops, and here at number six it's Jermaine Stewart and We Don't Have To Take Our Clothes Off.” Brian Whitehouse likes to begin with a big dramatic camera move across the studio. In fact, since he returned from holiday on 14/08/1986 he's repeated the same move on a weekly basis. The camera crane is raised to capture the audience on one of the scaffolding bridges, then it moves down and under the bridge and zooms across the studio floor towards the main stage. At least that's what it says on the camera script. This week something goes a little wrong and the camera ploughs (gently) into the back of one of the audience. Either the crane failed to lift up and over the heads of the audience, which is what happened on the previous two shows, or Floor Manager Cliff Pinnock was distracted and unable to shove the dancers out of the way in time. Oh well, that's all part of the fun of live television.

Top of the Pops 21 August 1986

Presented by Chris Arnsby. [25] Depeche Mode: A Question Of Time. Bruno Brookes. “Hello, good evening and welcome to Top of the Pops.” Gary Davies. “And here to start us off with a question of time it's Depeche Mode.” Lighting Director Derek Slee is conducting an experiment. How many spinning lights can he jam into a confined space before Brian Whitehouse tells him to stop being silly? Derek gets up to twelve; that's two globes hanging from the ceiling; four pairs of rotating lights at the front of the stage; and two spinning light poles at the back. Not counting, of course, the usual studio lights, and a myriad of flashing mini-strobes which have been packed into the scenery at the back. It's possible the scream from the studio audience is not excitement but an involuntary electrical spasm caused by induction from the massive electromagnetic field in the studio.

Top of the Pops 14 August 1986

Presented by Chris Arnsby. [10] It Bites: Calling All The Heroes. Simon Bates. “It's Thursday night. It's Studio 6. And it's time for Top of the Pops. Here's It Bites with Calling All The Heroes.”

Solo hosts are the great new innovation of 1986. If by innovation you mean going back to an idea last used in 1983 which I do, fortunately. Lots of great things from 1983 should make a comeback; the Moonwalk, Octopussy, Clover spreadable butter, Raiders of the Pops Charts, the Oric-1, those keyrings which beep when you whistle; who keeps hiding my keys? Solo hosts are the great new innovation of 1986 but it's it's not an idea Top of the Pops immediately leapt upon with great abandon. There are 52 editions of Top of the Pops in 1986 (surprisingly) and only18 with one host. Mike Smith, Mr TV himself, clocks in with the most, 9; Gary Davies with 5; followed by Janice Long, 3; and Simon Bates with this, his solo effort. Which is odd, because he's the only one on the list to have solo hosting experience from the pre-1983 days. Gary Davies is a bit of a surprise but someone upstairs likes him. He was chosen to relaunch the solo host format, which at the time made me purse my lips and invoke the spirit of Sergeant Wilson, “do you think that's wise Michael Hurll?” But yes, apparently Michael Hurll did think this was wise and he's gone on to become one of the senior hosts since his first appearance in 1982.

 

Top of the Pops 7 August 1986

Introduced by Chris Arnsby. [19] Status Quo: Red Sky. Mike Smith. “Good evening and welcome to Top of the Pops. We start tonight at number nineteen with Status Quo, spot the new drummer, here is Red Sky.” Who drummer Kenny Jones steps in for Status Quo's own unwell Jeff Rich, probably. It's not easy to keep track of Status Quo's Spinal Tap-esque succession of drummers; John Coghlan, 1962-1982; Pete Kircher, 1982-85; Jeff Rich, 1985-2000; Matt Letley 2000-12; John Coghlan (again), 2012; Leon Cave, 2012- present.

Stanley Appel, a veteran Light Entertainment Producer, also steps in for this week only to cover for Producer/Director Brian Whitehouse. Hopefully he's off on holiday. Stanley Appel keeps the cameras tight on Status Quo so Vision Mixer Carol Abbott bounces mainly between static mid shots and medium close-ups; with regular cutaways to Kenny Jones who gets his own camera. The paucity of sweeping crane shots makes the performance feel claustrophobic and boring, or maybe that's just the song. At the end the camera pulls back until Mike Smith is frame, and then he turns and introduces the next song. It's the first time this move has been seen for a while, it's fallen out of favour presumably because Brian Whitehouse doesn't like it very much.

Top of the Pops 31July 1986

Your guide: Chris Arnsby. [15] Spandau Ballet: Fight For Ourselves. Mike Read. “Hello. Welcome to Top of the Pops we kick off tonight with Spandau Ballet and Fight For Ourselves.” This week's big question, is Gary Kemp wearing a beret or a Tam o' shanter? The decision could go either way. The item of millinery in question is being worn sloped, like a beret, but it also has a pom-pom on it, like a Tam o' shanter. (John- Hat's enough)

For the first time in ages the two hosts do the post-first-song link in front of the neon logo, to the right of the main stage. This means Janice Long and Mike Read suddenly appear deep in the background of wide shots around the one minute forty five mark, having snuck on stage during a close-up of Spandau Ballet (disappointingly, the close-ups are not close enough to settle the vexed beret/tam question). This is useful information for anyone who often wants to know the location of Mike Read. (John- eg The FBI, KGB, MI5 etc) And we have an early winner in the most-boring-job-in-the-Top-of-the-Pops-studio competition. It's the camera operator in the white shirt who has to crouch behind one of Spandau Ballet's amps in order to catch a left profile shot of drummer John Keeble. Vision Mixer Priscilla Hoadley makes use of his services twice.

 

Top of the Pops Double Bill! 17th and 23rd July 1986

Presented by Chris Arnsby. 17 July: [14] Steve Winwood: Higher Love. Mike Smith. “Good evening and welcome to Top of the Pops from Television Centre in London. Let's start this week's show with a man at number fourteen in the charts. It's Steve Winwood and Higher Love”.

This Mike Smith show went unrepeated on BBC4 because of his never resolved contract dispute with the BBC. It's an off-air recorded in 1986 and it hasn't gone through the modern photosensitive epilepsy compliance process. Maybe I was tired when I watched this episode but it felt particularly hard on the eyes. Steve Winwood appears on the main Top of the Pops stage; the one with the hideous new (ish) neon logo to stage left. The space behind this stage is where the Floor Manager sometimes arranges Cheerleaders but on this occasion they've been replaced by a couple of spinning light poles. When the light poles shine directly into the camera the entire picture whites out and the abrupt change in contrast from the normal dark, smokey studio is noticeable.

I don't recall previous Mike Smith episodes being this squint-inducing. Maybe the studio is a bit darker than usual, or there's more smoke, or maybe this episode has been encoded differently; who knows. It's the first time I've noticed and been grateful for the process which reduces the contrast of the BBC4 repeats. I don't normally need to watch Top of the Pops with a paracetamol chaser. It turns out my nan was right. Too much telly really is bad for my eyes.

 

Top of the Pops 10 July 1986

Reviewed by Chris Arnsby. [16] Midnight Star: Headlines. Simon Bates. “Welcome to studio six at Television Centre and this week's Top of the Pops. Let's kick off with Midnight Star and Headlines.” There's the faint sound of studio chatter in the gap between the end of The Wizard and Simon Bates' introduction. It's a woman issuing instructions to the studio but, alas extensive digital audio forensic work is unable to clarify what is being said. The Floor Manager this week is Iain McLean, so it's not him. It must be someone firing up the Cheerleaders who is also standing close enough to Simon Bates for his microphone to pick up the sound. What sort of orders do you have to issue to the Cheerleaders? “Smile and dance like your lives depend on it.” 

Midnight Star are a seven piece American group. What makes them notable? They have three keytar players who all appear to be wearing suits made out of pattered wallpaper.

Top of the Pops 3 July 1986

Introduced by Chris Arnsby. [3] The Housemartins: Happy Hour. Janice Long. “Hello and welcome to Top of the Pops and here, in the studio, at number three with Happy Hour. It is, The Housemartins.” London 0, Hull 4 is written on the front of Hugh Whitaker's drum kit (a sneaky bit of promotion for their album), and he's rooted around in his wardrobe to find a 1984 model FRANKIE SAYS ARM THE UNEMPLOYED t-shirt. There's more sneaky promotion for fellow Go! Discs artist Billy Bragg who makes it on to Top of the Pops, sort of. Stan Cullimore's t-shirt features the cover of Levi Stubbs', Tears Bragg's new single.

Down at the front, the audience are waving THE HOUSEMARTINS banners. Last spotted back in December 1983 when they were issued to the crowd for Slades' performance of Me Oh My, although those banners had SLADE printed on them obviously. What are the logistics of this? Are they paid for by Top of the Pops or the record company? The SLADE banners were pretty crummy, thin strips of plastic with SLADE printed only on one side. These are a much higher quality. Double-sided printing, and solid enough that the text on the far side doesn't bleed through; unlike the one-sided SLADE banners which caught the light and made it look like the audience had been issued with banners that read EDALS (but mirrored).

Someone's spent a lot of money today.