"I’m Selling These Fine Tweed Jackets…” - Yo Ho Who And A Bottle Of Glum by Ben Baker

Is it just me that finds it increasingly hard to get excited about Doctor Who?

It can’t be my age. Ian Levine is 175 and still getting sweaty with anticipation every Saturday night, but as Moffat enters his second term as headmaster at St Borusa’s Comprehensive there’s just an overall lack of drive to be sat in front of the television at 6pm (O.N.O.) on a Saturday night. And I don’t just mean because of that bloody animatronic rabbit that’s on before it.

“Doctor Who and The Pirates From Mars: The Sands Of Time: The Curse Of The Black Pearl: LeChuck’s Revenge” falls into the now traditional ‘third episode = light-hearted nonsense’ model set by “Victory Of The Daleks”, “School Reunion” and “Terror Of The Vervoids”.  Indeed I joked to my girlfriend when I realised that I’d miss the start of this episode that I could probably do a fair guess at the contents. She said “go on then”. So I said “fine”.

Doctor Who Instants: The Curse of the Black Spot

It is probably not that easy to make something involving both Doctor Who and pirates a bit dull, but Steve Thompson’s brisk if uninvolving episode pulls it off. Or perhaps after the diversity of the season’s opening story, `Curse of the Black Spot` is simply what we expect from Doctor Who with few surprises? The narrative delivers a story where pirates believe they are cursed by a siren that takes them if they are injured. And they are marooned on a becalmed sea (actually quite a neat way of maximising the visuals). Yet these pirates are unlike any I’ve seen in fiction- they are actually boring. How can a pirate –especially ones in this situation- be boring?!

Series 2 of Downton Abbey sees some major changes.

The first half is lively in appearance but the pirates themselves never really have enough screen time to come alive. Avery, meanwhile, seems rather brooding and sympathetic not quite as you’d expect unless of course he’s being played by Hugh Bonneville. A more menacing actor might have served the whole father / son story rather better. The regulars are having the most fun- the Doctor’s reactions to events are particularly enjoyable while Amy’s sword fight is probably the highlight of the episode.

Promisingly driven below decks into a gun powder arsenal, the opportunity for character interaction is sidestepped by a lot of coming and going and a damp squib of a scene where Avery finds his young son is a stowaway. Somehow, despite the best efforts of the director, no peril is really conveyed though it doesn’t help that the Siren herself looks like she’s on her way to a trendy bar rather than some sort of evil entity. In retrospect, this is a clue to the denouement because she isn’t an evil entity at all.