Top of the Pops 18th July 1991

 Words: Chris Arnsby

Jakki Brambles: “Hello, good evening and welcome along to Top of the Pops on BBC1 and you can hear us in stereo on Radio 1FM. Well, it’s an all star line up on tonight’s show. We’re starting off with a lady who’s knocking ‘em dead on both sides of the Atlantic. Will you welcome, in the studio, Cathy Dennis.”

 [28] CATHY DENNIS: JUST ANOTHER DREAM. A very high concept start to this performance. Kathy Dennis stands singing while dancers wearing black raincoats and Fedoras turn and pretend to take photos of her. It’s all terribly symbolic and I’m sure its a marvellous metaphor for something or other but I don’t know what. Kathy doesn’t seem to be disappointed by the attention and why should she when she’s wearing a one-piece hot-pants suit covered in sequins. Fortunately for everyone concerned the dancers disrobe to reveal underneath their raincoats they are all wearing neon-coloured bikini tops and hot pants. 

Why don’t I have dreams like this? I get nightmares about rats attacking me on the bog*.

*Curse you, James Herbert!

[4] HEAVY D & THE BOYZ: NOW THAT WE’VE FOUND LOVE. Promo VT and charts from [40] to [2]. In a marvellous piece of literalism, check out the road sign showing this video is set on Love Street. Now that we’ve found Love, what are we going to do with it? Dance around in a selection of rain wear, obviously.

Promo VT and charts from [40] to [2].

[26] LITTLE ANGELS: I AIN’T GONNA CRY. An acoustic guitar is placed alone on a stand. Why is it there? Has the guitar forgotten it’s guitarist? Is it a memorial for a band member who died? The mystery is solved in the dullest way possible when one of the Little Angels goes over and starts playing it during the instrumental. Acoustic guitar, a terrible reminder we can’t be too far away from Extreme’s soppy dirge More Than Words.

[20] M.C. HAMMER: (HAMMER HAMMER) THEY PUT ME IN THE MIX. Promo VT. Jakki Brambles promises to tell us how to get tickets for Top of the Pops “a little later”. How exciting.

[21] KIM APPLEBY: MAMA: Kim Appleby makes a return to Top of the Pops with a song which is pleasant enough but I have no memory of it, and nothing to say.

Oh, here’s something I’ve just noticed. The green screen links have gone. Let’s see if this continues next week.

[19] NATALIE COLE & NAT ‘KING’ COLE: UNFORGETTABLE. Promo VT.

BREAKERS

[40] ALTERN 8: INFILTRATE 202

[37] SHADES OF RHYTHM: THE SOUNDS OF EDEN

[33] LONDONBEAT: A BETTER LOVE. Londonbeat’s performance benefits from a group who have given a little thought to how they want to appear on camera. Look at the moment when the four* stand side by side with arms on each other’s shoulders. It’s a bit corny but it works and it looks good in medium and low angle shots. This is a gentle song lifted by an easy going performance and good handheld camera work.

*There are five people on stage but getting the drummer out as well would be a logistical nightmare.

[36] JESUS JONES: RIGHT HERE, RIGHT NOW. Promo VT.

[1] BRYAN ADAMS: EVERYTHING I DO (I DO IT FOR YOU). Promo VT. The video, you know the one mysteriously absent from Youtube. A question for BBC4 viewers did this get snipped and replaced with the studio performance from last week?

Good work on the Quantel transition into the video. The studio picture is folded up into an arrow shape which drifts down off the bottom of the screen.

[38] VOICE OF THE BEEHIVE: MONSTERS AND ANGELS. Promo VT. Want tickets for Top of the Pops? Here are Jakki Brambles top tips:

“Step 1: Get together a coachload of groovers. Step 2: Write to the ticket unit.”

I know this address off by heart BBC Television Centre, Wood Lane, London, W12 8QT… wait a minute, that’s not the postcode on the caption. What’s this? W12 7RJ?

It turns out the Classic Address was for the post room at Lime Grove. It was closed by July 1991 as part of the decommissioning of those studios. I can’t believe Noel Edmonds lied to me. All those letters I wrote to Swap Shop asking to see Posh Paws fight the Great Grape Ape*. I thought they were being delivered directly to Noel (or, at least, John Craven) and they were actually just going to some anonymous bod who worked streets away.

* “Deer Neol. Plesa can you get Posh Paws to fite the grate grape apee.**
** 21 years old I was, etc.

Countdown to Year Zero revamp: 11

 Ratings: A reasonable showing, [25] with 5.74 million. The 1990 edition didn’t chart and rated less than the 5.22 million who watched Last of the Summer Wine.

Performance of the week: Londonbeat, A Better Love.

Performance of the (last) week: Billy Bragg, Sexuality.