Top of the Pops 9th and 16th May 1991

 Words: Chris Arnsby

 09/05/1991

 Gary Davies: “Hello. A very good evening to you and welcome to Top of the Pops. We’re in stereo on your twenty four hour radio station, Radio 1FM. We have a terrific programme for you tonight. And we start off with a band who are shortly going to release their first album. They’re performing the DNA Groove mix of Get The Message, over there. Electronic!”

 [8] ELECTRONIC: GET THE MESSAGE. This is new. I don’t think a band has performed a different mix of a single before. It’s an interesting idea and I can see how you might want to keep a song fresh for the audience and the performer. It’s just… this is a bit boring isn’t it. It seems very low energy and Bernard Sumner’s voice sounds very quiet in the mix. I appreciate it’s a change of direction for these write ups to start talking about music but, hasn’t this remix boiled out all the good bits of the single? Where’s the drum break gone? Why is Johnny Marr miming to a guitar that only he can hear? 4/10 guys.

CHARTS FROM 39 TO 12. Once again Gary Davies insists on describing the charts as “happenin’ choons,” if he does this a third time I will write to my MP.

[12] SEAL: FUTURE LOVE PARADISE. This is more like it. Two glitter balls and lashings of dry ice; two pipes! I need my gimmicks.

However, once again the shoals of my shallow musical knowledge are exposed. During the introduction Gary Davies talks about the recording of Seal’s first solo album and mentions it features “Wendy and Lisa”. This is dropped in tones which suggest I should know who Wendy and Lisa are and be mighty impressed. “By Jove! Wendy and Lisa!” I should be saying. “Hansom Cab! Hie me to His Master’s Voice post haste and don’t spare the equestrians.” I don’t know who Wendy and Lisa are but I spend the subsequent performance expecting the pair to rise from the dry ice or dance out from behind a pillar. They don’t.

Duck Duck Go (the cat and I are trying to reduce our use of Google) later informs me that Wendy and Lisa are a musical duo who worked with Prince and then struck out on their own. Their 1989 single Satisfaction reached [27] in the UK charts and featured on Top of the Pops on the 03/08/1989 edition. What did I say about it... [checks]… : “It's a good job I had so much to write about This One*, because for the second time this week I've got nothing to say about a studio performance.”

Sorry Wendy. And Lisa.

* A Paul McCartney studio performance which was the subject of some severe snipping by Paul Ciani to fit it into the programme.

[26] ROXETTE: FADING LIKE A FLOWER. Three back-to-back studio performances and an early visit to the Charts. Michael Hurll is starting to sneakily test the edges of the current Top of the Pops format.

A hard cut in and out of the Roxette performance suggest this is a pre-recorded performance. According to mumu03 there’s a good chance this was recorded all the way back in March when Roxette were in the studio to perform Joyride on the 07/03/1991 edition.

TOP 5 APRIL ALBUMS

[5] R.E.M.: OUT OF TIME. Promo VT clip from Losing My Religion.

[4] ROD STEWART; VAGABOND HEART. Promo VT clip from Rhythm Of My Heart.

[3] ROXETTE: JOYRIDE. Promo VT clip from Joyride.

[2] SIMPLE MINDS: REAL LIFE. Promo VT clip from Let There Be Love.

[1] EURYTHMICS: GREATEST HITS. Promo VT clip from Love Is A Stranger.

[15] BEVERLEY CRAVEN: PROMISE ME. Four back-to-back studio songs. Although obviously the Roxette performance is a sneaky cheat. It is very unusual to get this far into the programme and not have a video. The piano gives away Roxette’s pre-record status. There’s no way the scene shifters got that onto the Film Strip stage during the Top 5 Albums.

[24] MICHAEL BOLTON: LOVE IS A WONDERFUL THING. Here we are, finally a Promo VT.

[27] T99: ANASTHASIA. Oh, another studio song. I assumed we were onto a run of Promo VTs until the Top 10 and the KLF’s triumphant performance celebrating Last Train To Trancentral getting to Number One.

The camera script, or the timing, or the direction seems a little off at the start of this performance. During the introduction, when the dancers are frantically doing their stuff, there’s a cut to the keyboard player; recorded from behind looking out to the audience. The dancers are doing something complicated which involves dropping to the floor and getting whoops of approval from the audience. The viewers don’t get to see it. The picture is more interested in showing us what the keyboard player is doing (not a lot) so all the viewer at home sees of the dancers is a single foot dragging itself out of the corner of the frame.

Then, on the line “anasthasia drop,” the rapper (can’t work out his name, sorry) crouches and disappears off the bottom of the frame. It’s almost like Vision Mixer Hilary Briegel isn’t expecting this and instead of allowing the camera to follow the rapper down to the floor, there’s a very quick cut to another camera pointing at piece of scenery. This second camera operator has been told not to pan back to the stage until the beat picks up which only takes a second but because we seem to have cut to this camera too soon it introduces an awkward pause to the performance.

To be fair. The camera operators and Vision Mixer frequently perform absolute miracles of timing and pull off remarkable sequences in a difficult live environment. I wouldn’t be making such a big deal of two small moments if it wasn’t so unusual.

TOP 10

[1] CHER: THE SHOOP SHOOP SONG (IT’S IN HIS KISS). Promo VT. Oh. Never mind, maybe next week.

[10] BLUR: THERE’S NO OTHER WAY. Promo VT. Bruno, next week.

 Countdown to Year Zero revamp: 21

Ratings: No Top 30 placing this week, so less people watched than the 6.24 million who thought they’d give The Flying Doctors a go on Saturday. The equivalent show in 1990 placed at [25] with an audience of 7.15 million.

 Performance of the week:  T99, Anasthasia.

16/05/1991

 Bruno Brookes: “Good evening. Welcome to Europe’s number one TV pop show. With stereo sound from Radio 1, this is Top of the Pops. And what a great show we’ve got lined up for you tonight. Danni Minogue, Jason Donovan, Cher, all coming later but now live. New Kids On The Block.”

 

[20] NEW KIDS ON THE BLOCK: CALL IT WHAT YOU WANT. Oof! Every now and again you get a reminder of how dependent Top of the Pops was on the quality of the songs going up the charts. This wasn’t supposed to be a double-bill but I don’t think I’ve got a lot to say about this week’s programme. Bruno Brookes may say this is a great show but it’s all lies I tell you.

It’s the first time in the studio for New Kids On The Block and they’ve decided to sing live. What were they thinking? It’s a risky proposition for the best singers. Still the audience seem excited to see them.

[10] SOFT CELL/MARC ALMOND: TAINTED LOVE. Promo VT.

[5] CATHY DENNIS: TOUCH ME. Different clothes but the same dance routine from her appearance on the 02/05/1991 edition.

CHARTS FROM 36 TO 12. That moment in the charts when Bruno Brookes names I Wanna Sex You Up, at [27], and puts stress on the words Sex and Up. Hell no.

[21] DANNI MINOGUE SUCCESS. Bleh.

BREAKERS

[35] R.E.M.: SHINEY HAPPY PEOPLE

[34] FLOWERED UP: TAKE IT

[31] T’PAU: WHENEVER YOU NEED ME

[29] WILSON PHILLIPS: YOU’RE IN LOVE

[3] CRYSTAL WATERS: GYPSY WOMAN. So it turns out I’ve been mixing up Crystal Waters with Margarita Pracatan. I’m clearly the villain here (or at least my memory is) but I was genuinely surprised when Crystal Waters didn’t turn out to be a 60 year old lady. I think it’s the out of key singing on the la-de-de la-de-dah bit which caused my confusion. I now realise the out of key singing bit is deliberate but I didn’t know that in 1991 when the announcement of this record on the Radio 1 Breakfast Show would cause me to rise from my bed and make a frantic leap for the off switch.

[26] AMY GRANT: BABY BABY. Promo VT.

[25] JASON DONOVAN: R.S.V.P. I could just write Bleh, again. Instead let us address the subject of what Bruno Brookes is wearing. He’s wearing a Minnesota Twins baseball cap and a really unflattering San Diego Chargers satin bomber jacket. It’s too big for him and in long shots it makes his legs look like twigs.

TOP 10

[1] CHER: THE SHOOP SHOOP SONG (IT’S IN HIS KISS). Promo VT. KLF are not going to make it, are they? This is worse than when Groove Is in the Heart was kept off Number One by The Joker.

[27] COLOR ME BADD: I WANNA SEX YOU UP. Gary Davies next week. Again? Bruno Brookes doesn’t introduce the last video which is probably for the best. I don’t need to hear him say “I wanna sex you up” twice in one evening.

Countdown to Year Zero revamp: 20

Ratings: No ratings printed in The Stage for 1991. In 1990 Top of the Pops fell outside the Top 30 with the 17/05/1990 edition watched by a smaller audience than the 6.21 million who watched the 9 O'Clock News (Wed).

 Performance of the week: Crystal Waters, Gypsy Woman. Once again, I would like to apologise to Ms Waters for my error.