Words:
Chris Arnsby
Bonus master tape bit: “This is not the start of the prog... another clock after the
warm-up” That's the mysterious message on the VT clock at the start of
tonight's edition. And there's a code as well EX T042097 / H50804. What can it
mean? I wonder why the editor wanted to keep the studio footage of the warm up
(sorry, warm-up) and produced a non-standard tape that had to have a message at
the start to stop the wrong bit of the tape being broadcast to the nation?
Anyway,
the fake clock reaches zero and we're into a wide shot of the studio. Nicky
Campbell can be seen up the Crow's Nest, Nothin' That Compares 2U by the
Jacksons is playing over the studio PA, and there are two people on stage.
“Alright,” says the bloke holding a microphone who I'm going to guess is Floor
Manager Iain McLean, “would Nicola Brand make herself known to me please.” It
could be Brand or Brinde or Brine. Surely it's not Nicola Bryant, still loose
in the Top of the Pops studio after sneaking in during a Doctor Who recording
break on the 02/08/1984 show.
Iain
McLean continues: “Nicola Brinde. She has three people, where is she? Nicola?”
Did Iain ever find her? There's no way to know because the picture cuts to a 10
second countdown clock for the opening titles and the studio sound is blanked
by an electronic tone. This disappointing state of affairs runs for around 40
seconds. And then the picture bursts back into life.
We
see.... a closer angle on the main stage, looking up at the Crow's Nest through
the audience. Iain McLean and friend are still wandering around on the stage.
No sign of Nicola, and no sound either. Just the electronic tone. Iain McLean's
friend starts beckoning people up on stage. He's building the audience wall
used to hide the first band from the camera during the opening pan up from the
crowd to the Crow's Nest. All this to a tuneless electronic warble. Suddenly
the studio sound cuts in. Just as it does the picture cuts back to the 10
second countdown clock. Bugger.
Iain
McLean is holding forth: “Okay, right. We're almost....” the audio fades as the
picture returns. Vision Mixer Hilary Briegel is playing with me like a cat
plays with a mouse. The audio is back. Vision on. Sound on. Who could ask for
anything more?
Iain
is warning the crowd: “.... silly signs out of your hands like that... okay, or
making silly faces. We'll stop it we'll put someone else in there. Alright. So
it's your big chance. Take it and enjoy it. Now. Listen. I'm gonna introduce
you to who's gonna introduce the show... Mr Nicky Campbell. A round of applause
please.”
Nicky
Campbell: “Thank you.”
Iain
McLean: “Say something Nicky.”
Nicky
Campbell: “Ohhhh. Right. I want the biggest cheer I've ever heard in my life so
we can all get psyched up for this. One. Two. Three. Go.”
Omnes:
Cheers and applause.
Nicky
Campbell: “And a big cheer for these girls [in the Crow's Nest] who are making
their TV debuts ahead of all of you. And rhey're going to have to smile so can
we have a big smile and a big round of applause. Give them lots of
encouragement. They're going to be smiling at the nation very shortly. So we're
going quite soon. Just enjoy yourselves. It's great fun. Great atmosphere. And
a great band. Transvision Vamp down here [spoilers!].
Who
likes Transvision Vamp.
Omnes:
Slightly less cheers and applause than last time.
The
studio PA begins playing Chaka Khan's I'm Every Woman.
Iain
McLean: “Keep it going now.”
Then
another 30 second countdown clock flicks on screen.
Titles.
[25] TRANSVISION VAMP: the only one. Where's Wendy James? There's three blokes on stage but no Wendy James. Oh there she is, wandering on from stage left and drawing attention by coming in after everyone else. What a show off. Wendy looks hot. No, she looks unpleasantly sweaty, I mean. Is she running a fever. Has she oiled herself down for the cameras?
[2]
CLIFF RICHARD: the best of me. I beg to differ. Promo VT.
CHARTS
FROM 40 TO 31
[8]
GUBS N' ROSES: sweet child o'mine. Promo VT
[23]
BEAUTIFUL SOUTH: song for whoever. Not the video but... the video features a blancmange being chosen
as a pop star (it's symbolic, go with it) and at one point the assorted record
executives say to the blancmange, “you can't sing, you look awful... you'll go
along way.” Which riffs off an old 1984 Kit Kat advert.
BREAKERS:
Cripes.
It's been a while since we've seen any Breakers. Not since [checks calendar]
18/05/1989 and even then it was a month since they'd last appeared, 20/04/1989.
Have they gone monthly?
[36]
VIXEN : love made me
[38]
DONNA ALLEN: joy and pain
[37]
NEW MODEL ARMY: green and grey
[26]
PAULA ABDUL: forever your girl. Promo VT. If you arrange the last four songs into numerical order
they form a pleasing haiku-like poem: “Forever your girl/love made me/green and
grey/joy and pain”.
[19]
D.MOB featuring L.R.S: it is time to get funky. Nicky Campbell introduces
them as “The D Mob featuring the London Rhyme Syndicate, and D.C. Sarome.”
Which makes it sound like there's going to be 300 people on stage.
Disappointingly
it's just Gary Haisman rocking a keytar and three blokes in tracksuits, one of
whom has forgotten his shirt. Shirt-forgetting bloke is wearing the same style
tracksuit as another of the three (so I'm going to assume the identically
dressed pair are the London Rhyme Syndicate) who I will call Shirt-remembering
bloke. Keep your eye on him, he's often at stage left and keeps looking at his
fellow dancers as if he needs regular reassurance that he's getting the dance
moves right.
CHARTS
FROM 30 TO 11
[12]
SOUL II SOUL: back to life. Promo VT.
TOP
10.
[1]
JASON DONOVAN: sealed with a kiss. A performance which I suspect is a pre-record, probably done on
the week of 25/05/1989 which would explain why Jason Donovan appeared in the Top
of the Pops studio.
[33]
BANANARAMA: cruel summer '89. Mark Goodier and Simon Parkin next week. Banarama play out on
Promo VT.
Bonus background gossip bit: This is probably the episode where Soul II Soul refused to play the studio because they were not allowed to sing live. There's an interview with Jazzie B at Redbull Music Academy
(https://www.redbullmusicacademy.com/lectures/jazzie-b-funki-dred-obe) where he says:
“We
went on Top Of The Pops and they said we had to mime. Caron didn’t want to and
we had an argument and they said, “You either mime or don’t do the show.” We
didn’t do the show. Two weeks later, the song was number one, it was the
fucking best ever.”
Thanks
to mumu03, for pointing me in the direction of the Soul II Soul story.
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