17/07/2016

Ten exaggerated things we say



We all do it. We all say things that actually make no sense at all. And here are ten of them but there are zillions more.

"They're all on the gravy train." This came up a lot in the recent EU referendum. People griped and moaned about “the EU gravy train” which of course is that well known rail service transporting gravy from Paris to Munich via Brussels. Except it isn’t! There is no such thing as a gravy train. When have you ever seen one? You see; it does not exist. 
“I waited years for the train / bus/ taxi.” Mmm, You didn’t actually did you? You waited a while.  Imagine if you had waited for years, slowly accumulating things like a portable shower and loo, fresh clothes, a foldaway bed etc. When the train /bus/ taxi finally came all of your stuff wouldn’t fit in it. You will wait many years for a gravy train though!




I literally died Next time anyone says this - challenge them. Ask them – did you in fact expire when you made a slightly inappropriate quip that time? Was an ambulance called for you and CPR administered to bring you back to life? If not you did not literally die. You were just embarrassed. 
“I’m up the wall” Are you? Think carefully about it. Are your feet on the ground? Yes. Then you are not up the wall, you’re just harassed. 
“It’s boiling”  /“It’s freezing”Our exaggerated temperature related superlatives know few bounds. 
“Politicians are all the same” What do you mean? The same person? They all look different on the TV. 
“There’s no smoke without fire” Ahh, but there is. It is possible for something to smoke without being on fire. 
“He/ She was talking a load of rubbish” I think what you mean is that you didn’t agree with their opinions and of course anyone whose opinions differ from yours is completely wrong. 
“I’ll only be two seconds” Come off it. You can’t do anything in two seconds except turn your head a little bit. Nobody expects pin point accuracy (“I’ll only be eight minutes and thirteen seconds.”) but two seconds is very much less than you will be. 
“I don’t want to gossip but….” You do actually want to gossip don’t you?


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