by Chris Arnsby. Peter Powell: “Hi everybody! Welcome to Top of the
Pops and our new time for the whole of the autumn!” Mike Smith: “All the
climbers, all the breakers, and a new number one to come this evening, and
let's start off with a real wang-dang-arooga. It's that Tarzan Boy, Baltimora.
This week's number three.”
 Baltimora: Tarzan Boy. No gorilla this week, disappointingly, and no loin cloth either (see the 22/08/1985 and 29/08/1985 editions respectively). Baltimora is still doing that thing where he throws his coat backwards and accompanies the momentary glimpse of his bare torso with a shocked Kenneth-Williams-at-that-moment-in-Carry-on-Camping face. It occurs here at exactly the same point it did on the 22/08/1985 edition, so it's an established part of the routine rather than a spur of the moment topless-protest at BBC old maids and their loincloth embargo. (Fact John- There’s a rather sad story about this song. Jimmy McShane who does all the promo performances like this one was a former paramedic from Londonderry selected to front the Italian based `group` more for his dancing- and presumably coatography- than singing. Despite the huge success of the song, follow ups flopped and he was soon back in regular life. He died in 1995.)
Bryan Ferry: Don't Stop The Dance. Groan. It doesn't seem long since we finally
saw the back of that dull The Montreux Rock Festival footage of Kool and
the Gang singing Cherish. To replace it, here's some different dull footage of
pop's oiliest man Bryan Ferry slicking up the Montreux stage. Why is
Top of the Pops so endlessly fascinated by the Michael Hurll produced The
Montreux Rock Festival? We should ask Top of the Pops Producer
 Rebecca Storm: The Show. Theme from Connie, apparently. Do you remember Connie? I don't. Wikipedia says it was “a dry commentary on Thatcherite values” and is “chiefly memorable for the high-octane performance of Stephanie Beacham*.” You can watch the opening titles on Youtube and they're chiefly memorable for carefully framing the supporting artist so you can't see her face, and she can't put in a claim for residuals.
The lyrics for The Show have not been curated on the internet, so I can't look up exactly what Rebecca Storm sings at the start of her performance. It's something about being blue in the face and 12 below zero, but [also] being out in her heels. (John- She should know better than to dress like that in the Arctic).Top of the Pops have cruelly matched art to real life and forced Rebecca Storm to perform in a carpet of dry ice. If she is wearing heels under that fug, her feet will certainly be at a sub-freezing temperature.
One of the lyrics websites I checked included a list of other Rebecca Storm songs (which also don't have lyrics uploaded). Looking down the list I see Rebecca Storm performed a song called Why Worry. Fingers crossed that's a cover of Why Worry from the unsuccessful 1962 musical Space Is So Startling. “Why worry/just exist/if you're feeling low/you can do the twist”.
 Madness: Yesterday’s Men. A restrained and subdued performance of a restrained and subdued song. Madness were last in the Top of the Pops studio in October 1984. Not shown on BBC4 because D*v* L** Tr*v*s was on hosting duties. They appeared as a support act to Feargal Sharkey, and the band didn't get credited on screen and Suggs didn't join them. Madness' last visit to the studio as a band in their own right was on 31/05/1984, also not shown on BBC4 ( D*v* L** Tr*v*s again). Also, also missing from BBC4 was their 90/02/1984 appearance (you guessed it, D*v* L** Tr*v*s). Long story short, going by BBC4 repeats the last time Madness appeared in the studio was at the start of the 05/08/1982 repeat which was at least the Platonic ideal of Madness performances; Driving In My Car complete with Maddiemobile.
Top 40 Breakers:  Huey Lewis & The News, The Power Of Love;  Marillion, Lavender.
Top  Bonnie Tyler: Holding Out For A Hero. The second theme song tonight to a series set in the fashion industry. This one was Cover Up a one series wonder from Glen A. Larson but unlike Connie, Cover Up was on BBC1 so Mike Smith is allowed to mention it and make a joke about Peter Powell being a male model. This delights Powell so much he adds a second syllable to the last word of the title and pronounces it Heer-Oh!
 Dire Straits, Money For Nothing;  King, Alone Without You;  Princess , Say I'm Your Number One;  The Cars, Drive;  Kate Bush, Running Up That Hill;  Madonna, Into The Groove;  Baltimora, Tarzan Boy;  UB40 & Chrissie Hynde, I Got You Babe.
 David Bowie & Mick Jagger, Dancing In The Street. On video. I'm not sure it's safe to let Mick Jagger get his mouth so close to David Bowie's face.
 Stevie Wonder, Part Time Lover. Mike Smith works in a quick plug for the new series of The Noel Edmonds Late Late Breakfast Show part of Michael Hurll's inland empire, and then it's audience dancing and credits.
Performance of the week: Baltimora: Tarzon Boy, but he should have brought along the gorilla.
*If like me you're thinking of Hart To Hart, you've got the wrong Stephanie; that was the differently spelt Stefanie Powers.