It’s the summer
and the season of athletics, the sport people can’t seem to get worked up about
however enthusiastically we are told we should. As it goes my most embarrassing
public moment occurred on an athletics track many, many years ago. It’s not
what you’re thinking- and no, it wasn’t that either. Once upon a time I found
myself in the school sports day. This in itself was something of a miracle,
maybe everyone else was on holiday or something. The event was held on the
university’s playing fields which had an actual stand on one side meaning
potentially hundreds of people might be there. Sports Day in fact was very well
attended as it was held the same weekend as Founder’s Day. Yes, it was that
sort of school that even had us in at the weekend (ok only once a year) though
we didn’t have a school swan as you’ll know if you’re a regular reader. Anyhow
I was in the sprint relay team which was fine because I could sprint 100 metres
and that was basically it, I was out of energy by then. Then, on the actual day, in the actual changing room I was informed that due to some detail I can’t
recall now I was also running in the 100m hurdles. OMFG!!!
Hurdles. What is the actual point???!!! |
As I would have
texted then had smartphones and texting been invented. I probably just said it.
I’d never hurdled in my short life, never once leapt like a salmon over those
metal fences that someone must have thought were a good idea. I mean, why have
them? They just get in the way. Hurdling, the Internet informs me today, is a
great sport that requires “good fitness, flexibility, upper body strength, and,
most of all, perseverance and determination”. Well I was a teenager so I probably
had some of those, the last two though? Well nah. Not that I had the chance to
persevere or be determined.
So with no time
to practice and absolutely no tuition or tips there I was in front of a stand
with probably several hundred people watching. Oh and guess which lane I was
in? Yep the one closest to the stands. Even now it makes me cringe. Clearly the
only way I was going to get through this was to stare straight ahead – well
with all those metal barriers in the way that was probably a good idea anyway-
ignore the crowd and just get through it.
Now I don’t
know if you’ve ever casually hurdled in your life but there’s a technique to
having the right number of steps between each hurdle so you continue to gain
ground while getting over them without stopping the momentum of your stride. The
crucial thing is actually not to slow down before a hurdle but stride over it
like a graceful gazelle. Then you have to drag the trailing leg over the
object. Nobody told me this.
All I knew then
was how to jump over things which involved taking a run up and essentially
hanging in the air while moving over the hurdle. This is absolutely the wrong
technique which might work for leaping over a pile of boxes or a body but not
for hurdles. So that was what I did. Luckily no evidence of this exists and I
am probably the only one who remembers it because it was such an embarrassing
moment. Imagine if we’d had smartphones then; it’d still be somewhere online to
this day as the worst ever example of hurdling. Ever. I could be like the
grumpy cat or something! BTW I never hurdled again. In fact even jumping over
something makes me have flashbacks to that afternoon. We did ok in the relay
but somehow I’ve forgotten all that.
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