Top of the Pops 8th and 15th December 1988

 

Words: Chris Arnsby

08/12/1988
Nicky Campbell: “Good evening and welcome to Top of the Pops. We are on Radio 1, in FM of course. We've got a show absolutely awash with talent tonight, Kylie and Jason, Angry Anderson, Cliff Richard, and of course, Caron Keating.”
Caron Keating: “What a charmer. We're starting off with something for all you rockers. Status Quo and Burning Bridges.”

 [20] STATUS QUO: burning bridges. Oh goodie. A Status Quo song. I hope it's the one that goes dun-der-dun-der-dun-der-dun-der-dun. It is! Wikipedia tells me the song is actually called Burning Bridges (On and Off and On Again). That's probably too long for the caption generator. Also, the single has a picture of Mike Tyson on the cover. No one knows why.

TOP 40 FROM 40 TO 31

[3] ANGRY ANDERSON: suddenly. Less suddenly than you might think. Since last week the song has leapt up from [16] but its rise outside the Top 30 was more gradual. In at [51] on the chart for the week of 19/11/1988 and up to [33] the week after. It's more or less gone up 16 places each week for the last month. Compare that to Mistletoe and Wine by Saint Cliff which entered the charts last week at [7] and is now the new Number 1 (spoilers for, I dunno, further down the page I guess).

Will Angry challenge Cliff for the Christmas Number 1? Will it be Kylie and Jason, who have leapt Bros-like into the [2] spot this week? It won't be Bros who, oh dear, have been gently lowered down the charts from [2] to [3]. I'm calling it. You read it here first. Bros are over!

The studio looks lovely. The crowd have been carefully lined up to make the studio look full, and they've been encouraged to wave their arms about their heads, and the luckiest of all have been issued with pre-Christmas tinsel. Martin Kisner uses the lights to colour the studio in shades of deep blue and purple and makes Anderson stand out with a single white spotlight. Basically, everything's great except for the song which is turgid. Angry Anderson doesn't seem very angry. Maybe he's jet-lagged. He's decided to “sing” without a microphone so he could be angry about miming, or possibly the way Vision Mixer Hilary Briegel occasionally cross-fades to footage from the relevant episode of Neighbours. 

BREAKERS: [24 PETULA CLARK downtown '88]; [23 NEW ORDER fine time]; [22 INNER CITY good life]; [7 ERASURE stop]

[6] PHIL COLLINS: two hearts. On film, I think. Presumably to stop the clips from Buster from looking odd next to other bits on video.

TOP 40 FROM 40 TO 31.

[2] KLIE MINOGUE & JASON DONOVAN: especially for you. On video.

TOP 10.

[1] CLIFF RICHARD: mistletoe & wine. Brian Whitehouse has done his best but he's limited in what he can do with the flurry of dismal songs that have leapt to the top of the charts. I'm not angry at December 1988, just disappointed. Imagine if you'd come to watch this episode being recorded; Status Quo, Angry Anderson, and Cliff Richard. What a disappointment. In the absence of anything else worth doing, the crowd sway from side to side as they did for Angry Anderson. Their arms will be killing them in the morning.

[15] BANANARAMA: nathan jones. Top of the Pops reverts (slightly) to the old format. After the excitement of last week's credits being run over a new studio performance, the programme reverts to using a repeat performance; it's Bananarama from the 24/11/1988 edition.

Mark Goodier and Gary Davies next week.

 PERFORMANCE OF THE WEEK: No one. Bilge!

 15/12/1988
Gary Davies: “Hello. Good evening. Welcome to another Top of the Pops. Knockout programme we have for you tonight. In the studio we have Erasure, Inner City, Petula Clarke, and New Order.”
Mark Goodier: “Sure. And we start off tonight with Bon Jovi, who have just done some brilliant UK gigs. Here's Born To Be My Baby.”
Gary Davies: “Yeaah! Woo!”

 

[22] BON JOVI: born to be my baby. The first camera shot of the programme is at an awkward 45 degree angle to the hosts and selected audience members. Then, rather than tracking round as you might expect, it zooms in. All is revealed after Bon Jovi has been introduced and the camera sweeps back. Everyone on screen has been set up on the two steps at the back of the main stage right behind Bon Jovi's keyboard player, there's very little room for manoeuvrer.

Jon Bon Jovi is wearing a Guardian Angels t-shirt. You never get a good look at it on camera but the internet reveals an odd Freemason-eque design; the all-seeing-eye in a pyramid, resting on a shield with wings coming out of the sides that are lifting the pyramid above the clouds. Unpack the symbology of that. I did and now I'm the legal guardian of the Mona Lisa. The Guardian Angels were a New York vigilante group. They opened a London... branch? wing? lodge? ... whatever in May 1989 and I remember the media's inevitable why-oh-why hand wringing in response that followed.

The back of the main stage has been given a low level redesign. There are banks of monitors placed in the rear corner, fed with pictures from the studio cameras. Previously these monitors were arranged in a step pattern, 1, 2, 3, 3, 2, 1 (all right settle down William Oughtred). Someone has looked sensibly at this arrangement and realised it means the monitors are often blocked from view because the ones in the centre tend to be behind people and those at the sides are too low. The pattern is now 3,3,1,1,3,3, with the middle pair sitting on a metal frame. The monitors are now more visible and the effect is of a much more impressive wall of screens.

[13] PETULA CLARK: downtown 88. Petula Clark gets a pass, but everyone else involved in this should be thoroughly ashamed. Petula Clark is on the new stage, the one with the big stainless steel cylinder tapering down to a point at the bottom. The stage debuted on 24/11/1988 and I've only just realised the big shiny thing is supposed to be the needle of a record player, with the circular stage design representing a single.

TOP 40 FROM 40 TO 31

[10] U2: angel of harlem. On video, cut short after two minutes.

[15] NEW ORDER: fine time. New Order have brought their Apple Mac onstage. Futuristic electronic music! The Mac gets a big closeup, one more than base player Peter Hook.

One of the camera operators gets a brilliant side profile of Bernard Sumner. The background is in soft focus, so you can only make out the shapes of the flashing neon lights and the audience dancing behind him. It looks amazing.

TOP 40 FROM 30 TO 11.

[4] ERASURE: stop. The Top 10 has congealed. It's pretty much stuck as it will be until the end of the year. Cliff Richard at [1], everyone is buying his single as a present for that aunt they only see once a year. Kylie and Jason fans will keep Especially For You at [2], while the Neighbours fans, not necessarily the same demographic, will keep Angry Anderson in the top five.

Here's the song that should have been the Christmas 1988 Number 1. Not Cliff Richards' rotten Middletoe and Whine. Stop is at [4] this week and it will swap places with Angry Anderson before being stalling at [3], unable to outsell the Richards/Minogue/Donovan axis.

Vision Mixer Carol Abbott has tremendous fun, hitting the freeze-frame button every time Andy Bell sings “Stop!” (Actually she misses a couple, but who's counting). In fact everyone is clearly having a great time (with the obvious exception of Vince Clarke who gazes across the audience with an expression resembling Zeus in the opening titles of Ulysses 31). Andy Bell gets to play with some bells for the ringing bit in the middle, Martin Kisner Lights Andy Bell in rainbow colours and Paul Ciani (he's back!) keeps the whole thing moving nicely.

BREAKERS: [23 FOUR TOPS loco in acapulco]; [28 KIM WILDE four letter word]; [29 LONDONBEAT 9 a.m.]

[6] INNER CITY good life. Singer Paris Grey dances like Andy Bell, trying to take up as much of the stage as possible.

TOP 10.

[1] CLIFF RICHARD: mistletoe & wine. On video.

[25] A-HA: you are the one. Steve Wright and Nicky Campbell next week for the pre-Christmas show. I knew I shouldn't have been naughty.

Surprise! Mark Goodier has brought Gary Davies an “ooh Gary Davis cake from everybody at Top of the Pops.” No one can see it Mark. This is why rehearsals are important.
a-ha are on video.

 

PERFORMANCE OF THE WEEK: Erasure, Stop.