Top of the Pops 4 August 1988

 

Reviewed by Chris Arnsby.
Janice Long: “Hello. How you doing? Welcome to Top of the Pops. Tonight... is very much a live Top of the Pops. Some fantastic stuff. And very much a case of girls on top, isn't it Mark?”

Mark Goodier: “It sure is. Thank you Janice. And our first lady tonight says her favourite food is chocolate sandwiches. Do you believe that? She's straight into number two of the chart it's Kylie Minogue right here with the Locomotion.

[2] KYLIE MINOGUE: the loco-motion. Welcome back Janice. Bye Janice. She returned from a prolonged absence in July 1988, she's here tonight, and then she's off. After this she won't be seen again until the final Top of the Pops in 2006. Janice herself wasn't in any doubt what happened. In a Tweet dated October 11^th 2019 she wrote: “Radio One did not approve of me having a baby and not being married. That’s why I lost my show. TOTP were cool but Radio One decided to do a simulcast so I was persona non grata”

BBC Genome confirms that Janice Longs' Radio 1 show ended on 30^th December 1987. After the New Year break the slot was filled temporarily by Simon Mayo before being handed on to Liz Kershaw. Top of the Pops had broadcast on Radio 1 since the 05/11/1987 edition but this was in London only (probably). Johnny Beerling, Radio 1 Controller, was presumably okay with this limited exposure for Janice Long but looming at the start of September 1988 was “the great FM switch on.” Central Scotland, the north, and the midlands, would all gain access to Radio 1 FM and suddenly 65% of the country would be able to hear an unwed mother hosting Top of the Pops in stereo. Or at least they would if she'd stayed. I assume Paul Ciani booked Janice in July and August in an attempt to establish her again as part of the regular team; without success.

In fact, there's possibly an additional layer of mischief to those two bookings. Janice returns on the 07/07/1988 edition. Tonight's appearance is exactly four weeks later. If this cycle had continued (which seems like a reasonable guess because several hosts appeared monthly) then her next appearance would have been Thursday 01/09/1988. The first day of the FM switch on. Did Paul Ciani bring her back to Top of the Pops with an eye to getting her back on Radio 1 on its big day? I like to think he did.

Meanwhile, Mark Goodier continues to develop his role as the bland man of Radio 1. His “chocolate sandwiches” exclusive reminds me of a terrible feature from his programme in the early 1990s. It was called Unbelievable and featured the dullest POP FACTS possible. It ran like this.
MUSICAL STING: Unbelievable by EMF
MARK GOODIER: “Kylie Minogue says her favourite food is chocolate sandwiches.”
MUSICAL STING: Unbelievable by EMF

 He got a book out of it. Called Unbelievable!, published in 1993. Copies are available on Ebay and Amazon. The condition is usually very good to as new.

I don't have much to say about Kylie. Although I should mention this is her first appearance in the studio. To be honest, if I write as little as possible I hope to get by without having to mention I recorded the song off the radio.

[14] FAIRGROUND ATTRACTION: find my love. The audience are rowdy. Possibly rowdier than this soft folk song requires. I'm not sure every flick of Eddi Reader's coat needs to be accompanied by hoots and whoops of approval. I'm fascinated by the gourd-like thing the percussion bloke (Roy Dodds?) is holding. Just not fascinated enough to actually look up what it is called.

TOP 40 FROM 40 TO 31. Tipsy auntie Janice works her magic and brings a brief flash of personality out from Mark Goodier. The sides of the main stage are decorated with ranks of monitors. “Do you think anybody would notice if I nicked a telly?” she asks and Mark Goodier chips in with, “no, I'll give you a hand.”

[25] VOICE OF THE BEEHIVE: i say nothing. Pink. Everything's pink. Ron Bristow, Lighting, has decided the colour of Voice of the Beehive is a lurid sugary neon pink. It looks fab. The best moment comes when the song enters the quieter part (there's undoubtedly a technical music term for this, I don't know it). Ron slowly drains the colour from the lights and the sets become dull grey. Then as the song picks up again the lights are turned back on and everything explodes with colour.

[4] KIM WILDE: you came. A repeat of Kim's performance from 21/07/1988. A chance for everyone in the studio to catch their breath.

[17] FUNKY WORM: hustle ! (to the music). There's a lot going on. Seven people on stage, and even then the guitarist has to double up and play the keyboard. Everyone's moving nicely, possibly too nicely given the small stage and it's entertaining watching the wide shots and seeing the hand held camera operators carefully pick their way through the throng. So why is this performance a bit flat? It's not the world's most interesting song but the biggest problem is the audio. Lead singer Julie Stewart is almost inaudible at times because the mix seems a bit weird. I wouldn't normally mention the audio (because I know next to nothing about it) but next is...

TOP 40 FROM 30 TO 11. Well so much for tension. The next item on the programme is the charts but after that the next performance is...

[22] ALL ABOUT EVE: martha's harbour. Yes. It's THAT Top of the Pops moment. The moment when the studio audio goes wonky on a live show and there isn't the safety net of a retake.

(I found the helpful comment about live shows I was previously looking for. It's here https://thiswayupzine.blogspot.com/2021/04/top-of-pops-27-march-7-april-1986.html?showComment=1619377021906#c6124146140101561174 , thanks Anonymous.)

Three of the four live shows of 1988 were affected by audio issues. This is obviously the worst and I missed it. If you want the full inside story of what happened... well you'll need to consult the BBC archive (and let me know if you get inside the Written Archive Centre at Caversham because I'd love to know what kind of internal inquest took place). The Story of 1988 (reverent bits at https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Y52J1iqL_oc ) does a good job of interviewing people on both sides of the camera.

“It's making me feel horrible discussing it. I still can't watch it,” is the verdict of All About Eve's Tim Bricheno. He describes how “the applause dies down and you were waiting for the backing track to come on, to mime along to live. The backing track never came on.”

Julianne Regan told The Guardian in 2006 (https://www.theguardian.com/music/2006/jul/29/popandrock3 ): “Then they got the audience whooping and clapping, and we were waiting to hear the first couple of notes so we could start miming, but we heard nothing. At all. There was a very pregnant pause. One hairy technician guy down the front said to me, 'Sing something!'”

Daniel Steggall, one of the Top of the Pops crew, recalled in the Story of 1988, “the track was run from sounds, cause I could hear it on my talkback being run through the microphones in the gallery, so as far as Paul and everyone in the gallery was concerned the track was there... They just thought they were doing some sort of mad protest.”

It is horribly uncomfortable watching the performance. You can see Julianne Regan screw up her face as she realises something has gone badly wrong. Tim Bricheno gets it slightly easier, he's able to look down and pretend to lightly strum his guitar, but Julianne Regan just has to sit there in the full focus of the lights and cameras.

Paul Ciani ditches his camera script commendably quickly and must be calling out instructions to camera operators live as he tries to minimise the damage on screen. Tim Bricheno is watching the red light that shows when a camera is live, and as it zooms in on his guitar he starts half-heartedly plucking at his guitar strings. The close up of the guitar is held beyond the point Julianne Regan starts singing, I think it's fair to assume the plan was to cut to a close up of her. Instead, the next cut is to a crane shot which is far enough away that you can't immediately see no one is singing. The shot right pans until Julianne Regan is in profile and you can't see she isn't miming. During this pan, Regan mouths something and shrugs her shoulders; is this the point she and Tim are getting advice from technicians on the studio floor?

The shot pans so far round you can see the studio bridge where Janice Long and Mark Goodier went to introduce the song. The pair are still there. Janice Long looks like she could be leaning forwards, and then the pair turn and appear to be muttering to each other. The studio looks weirdly dead. I've never seen it so still. There's barely any movement from anyone except Julianne Regan who clearly wishes she wasn't at the centre of the wrong kind of attention.

The sound, when it does come on, isn't right. The audience wave and cheer but it's muted and the volume peaks a second time as if its faded in twice from different sources. God knows which microphones are being used but I think you can hear clunks and picks as Tim Bricheno mimes playing his guitar, and behind the music you can hear gallery talkback; annoyingly not clear enough to make out words but it's probably direction to the studio crew because the studio comes to life, technicians start moving around and we get a wider selection of pictures; including the close up of Julianne Regan which Paul Ciani must have wanted from the start. Look at Julianne Regan's hands. Her fingers are tightly knotted together.

TOP 10. Janice Long drops straight back into presenter mode but Mark Goodier looks stunned. I empathise with him.

[1] YAZZ AND THE PLASTIC POPULATION: the only way is up. Britain has a new Number One and there's no gap in the live format to acknowledge what has just happened. Here's a repeat of Yazz from last week.

Afterwards there's clearly been a briefing from the gallery because at the end of the repeat Mark Goodier quickly says, “got to say, sorry we lost sound on All About Eve but we're back and we're happening now.” The lost sound comment suggests no one really knows what happened. Yet. Did they think All About Eve were broadcast mute? Anyway after some banter about whose fault it was, Yazz bounces into the picture, dressed as she was last week (to maintain continuity with the recorded performance). She makes a few excited squeaks and then Janice and Mark wrap up “this live edition.” The pair both look mildly hysterical.

Janice's last words, “we'll see you again.” In 2006.

[6] S-EXPRESS: superfly guy. Liz Kershaw and Bruno Brookes next week. This archive copy continues after the S-Express video with a snatch of studio audio over a black screen.

Janice Long: “Thanks ever so much... thank you.”
Mark Goodier: “We'll see you soon.”
Janice Long: “Yeah, thanks for coming along and er... now you know what live telly's like.”
Mark Goodier: “Exactly.. it was all Janice's fault. Honestly”
Janice Long: “It's a great laxative.”

 PERFORMANCE OF THE WEEK: It should really be All About Eve because that's clearly the most memorable performance but that's too glib. Voice of the Beehive, I Say Nothing.