Top of the Pops 28 January 1988

 

Reviewed by Chris Arnsby. Mike Smith: “Good evening. Welcome to Television Centre for another spiffing edition of Top of the Pops. Tonight we've all sorts of people in the studio who you'll meet later on.” Gary Davies: “But first we start with a lady who's first two singles went top five in America. She's the biggest climber in the chart this week at seventeen. Here's Debbie Gibson. Shake Your Love.”

[17] DEBBIE GIBSON: shake your love. As a jaded Gen X-er I'm mainly familiar with Debbie Gibson via the medium of Bill Hicks. Unfortunately all Bill Hicks’comments about Debbie Gibson are unrepeatable so maybe I should just swiftly move on. You know what Bill? Debbie's fine. It's not great art but I don't come to Top of the Pops for great art. I come to Top of the Pops for thirty minutes of flashing lights and an occasional bilious retch at Steve Wright which proves to me I can still feel anger. Speaking of anger. The keyboard player, well one of them there are two, is wearing a white tie with a black shirt. I feel this is some sort of terrible fashion crime.

 

[18] BILLY IDOL: hot in the city. On video.

[20] TWO MEN A DRUM MACHINE AND A TRUMPET: tired of getting pushed around. What does Gary Davies say as he introduces Two Men A Drum Machine And A Trumpet? It sounds like “while Roland's away the boys will definitely play”. What? [interlude for Google]. Oh. It's the two guitarists from Fine Young Cannibals. Now Gary's comment makes sense.

It turns out, I was paying attention to the wrong people. I was looking mainly at the two dancers, or the guy playing the drums, or the lady with the keytar, or the bloke at the turntable, or the uncomfortably sweaty man in a raincoat and hat who's doing his best to lip-sync to Humphry Bogart samples*. I barely paid any attention to the two blokes with guitars, although now I do, I can see that one of them, let's call him Andy Cox**, is doing the stupid leg-shuffling dancing I associate with the Fine Young Cannibals.

Now, I know what everyone is thinking. When Two Men A Drum Machine And A Trumpet (hereafter referred to as TMADMAAT) went on The Roxy did they bring the whole gang with them? I don't know. Their performance hasn't been uploaded to the internet. If you have a copy, please remedy this situation post-haste.

*and the guy with the trumpet. I missed him out. I'd like to apologise to him and his family. I meant no offence.

** unless it's David Steel. In which case I'd like to apologise to David Steel** for any confusion and upset.

***  Yes the leader of the Liberal Party****.

**** I've used this joke before. Sorry about that. Sorry.

TOP 40. Did I record I Should Be So Lucky, off the radio? Can I plead the fifth?

[25] JERMAINE STEWART: say it again. Jermaine is wearing a jacket so ludicrously padded in the shoulders that from some camera angles it looks like he is wearing a fake torso.

TOP 40 BREAKERS: A return to bog-standard Top of the Pops captions. Just as well, my attempt last time to reproduce the arrows and circles of the funky sideways scrolling captions was thwarted by HTML. The resulting random collection of letters made it look like I'd fallen asleep on the keyboard.  tÅtÅtÅtÅt; tÅtÅtÅtÅt. [24] TAYLOR DAYNE: tell it to my heart; [19] JACK 'N' CHILL, the jack that house built; [16] ELTON JOHN, candle in the wind.

[33] T'PAU: valentine. Spotting a gap in the market, T'Pau have spurned the battle for the Christmas Number 1 and are instead releasing an appropriate song two weeks before February 14^th. Will it be the Valentine's Day Number 1? Flame-haired-etc Carol Decker is wearing a shade of neon pink lipstick which is extremely late-eighties. How about the rest of the group? It's hard to tell they don't really get any good close ups.

TOP 10.

[1] TIFFANY: I think we're alone now. Belinda Carlisle is dethroned, by Tiffany. She has actually made the effort to come into the Top of the Pops studio which is nice of her because she lives in Norwalk, California. What's that you say? She went on The Roxy first?

I think Tiffany's Top of the Pops performance might have been previously recorded and played in from tape. What makes me suspect this? Mainly the way Gary Davies and Mike Smith manage to point in different directions when she is introduced. More rehearsal needed, guys.

[8] BEATMASTERS FEATURING THE COOKIE CREW: rok da house. Mike Smith is going solo next week. Gary Davies gets the week off. His first since, oh, 7^th January 1988.
Beatmasters, featuring the and so-on-and-so-on, get the whizzy scrolling caption which was denied to the TOP 40 Breakers.

The video for Rok da House features the usual assembly of out of copyright clips from Felix the Cat and, what's this? Mickey Mouse! Don't Beatmasters (avec Équipe de Biscuits) know that Disney can crush them like bugs? Also featured in the video is some expensive looking footage of New York getting trashed. This comes from a 1933 RKO film called Deluge. It was considered a lost film until it was found in an Italian archive in 1981.

 Performance of the week: Two Men a Drum Machine and a Trumpet, Tired of Getting Pushed Around.

The Roxy Playlist, 26/01/1988: In studio; Jermaine Stewart, Say It Again; Two Men a Drum Machine and a Trumpet. Tired Of Getting Pushed Around; The Christians, Ideal World; Tiffany, I think we’re Alone Now; Terence Trent D'Arby. Sign Your Name. On video; Billy Idol, Hot In the City; Elton John, Candle In The Wind.