Top of the Pops 13 & 26 Feb 1986

Presented by Chris Arnsby. 13/02/86
Steve Wright: “Hi!! Hello!! Good evening!! Welcome to another Top of the Pops!! Gary Davies!! Steve Wright!!” Gary Davies: “In the studio tonight we've got Billy Ocean, we've got Shaky Stevens*, plus we've got two acts making their debut on Top of the Pops tonight. Here's the first Belouis Some, Imagination.”
[22] Belouis Some: Imagination. I remember the song but Belouis Some has fallen right down the old memory hole. If you'd played this to me and demanded I name the singer I would have taken a very incorrect guess at ABC. Belouis Some (which it turns out is actually his real name) (Fact John- Actually his real name is Neville Keighley, true fact.) looks very 1986 with his bleached blonde hair and striking jacket. He's wearing almost the same ensemble as Gary Davies, most notably a long red jacket, but he pulls it off better than Gary because his jacket has been properly tailored to fit. Gary Davies has chosen one that smothers him, and once again he manages to look like a tiny child dressed in his dad's clothes for a joke photo.

 

 

[10] Whitney Houston: How Will I Know? On video.

[24] Latin Quarter: Radio Africa. “Now here's a song that's taken quite a while to be a hit,” says Steve Wright in what is for him a very unenthusiastic introduction.  It's a strikingly political song, openly critical of Western aid and trade to Africa. It's all the more remarkable that a single which could be seen as an answer song to Do They Know It's Christmas should chart just as the 1985 rerelease of the Band Aid was dipping out of the Top 100. It would be easy to dismiss the song as lefty whining about the nasty old West but it's more thoughtful than that, as mentions of South Africa and Moscow show.

Unfortunately it's not just Steve Wright's vague introduction, in which he fails to mention the name of the song, that results in a low energy feel. An unfortunate late cue for the music results in an eggy pause that leaves Steve Wright standing awkwardly with his hand flopped out in the general direction of the band until the song starts and the camera slowly wanders away from out host. Still, fair play to Gary Davies at the other end of the performance, he's genuinely complimentary about the song and remembers what it's called. Although it's possible he's only enthusiastic about Radio Africa because of what he has to introduce next...

[9] Su Pollard: Starting Together: … here on the other side of the ellipsis it's Potty Peggy from Hi-De-Hi. Normally I'd just write, “on video” and then rush on to the next song but there's something hypnotically awful about this track. If you thought Russ Abbot's singing career was the low point of a Light Entertainment Star trying to parley their celebrity into musical success, then I'm about to hand you a shovel.

I understand Su Pollard's desire to use her media profile to start a new career, but why choose this song? It's hideously generic and doesn't reflect her personality as filtered through the TV screen. I understand the production team of the BBC1 series The Marriage thinking they could use a hook for some easy publicity, but why anchor themselves to a theme sung by someone from a different genre of programme? I understand that every song needs to have a video, and that Su Pollard wishes to show her different more serious (oh god) side, but then why dress the star in a wardrobe that makes the video look like a parody of a pop video featuring Su Pollard (horrible pink snood, pink top with a pink cravat, pink tights, pink gloves, and multicoloured socks, to do the “zany” heavy lifting and cover the lack of any hint of personality in the song itself). Every step of the creative process reeks of minimal effort. The song will do, the video will do, that'll do as the theme music. Nobody (except, ironically, poor Su Pollard) is making any effort because “Joe Public will lap this up.” It's an achievement that this song seems like the most cynical creative decision of 1986. Especially considering this is the year when Stock Aitken Waterman rev up their production line and get Samantha Fox into the Top 20, twice. (John- To make it more tolerable imagine a really miserable singer having to perform this song in that costume like, say, Paul Weller or Roger Waters!)

Top 40 Charts.

Top 40 Breakers: [25] Paul Hardcastle & Carol Kenyon, Don't Waste My Time; [15] Survivor, Burning Heart; [14] Diana Ross, Chain Reaction.

[23] Shakin' Stevens: Turning Away. “Shakin' Stevens 51^st appearance on Top of the Pops,” according to Steve Wright, he's considerably more in his element introducing this than Latin Quarter.

Top 10 Charts. What is Gary Davies doing?

[1] Billy Ocean: When The Going Gets Tough The Tough Get Going. Back in the Top of the Pops studio so no Michael Douglas, Kathleen Turner or Danny DeVito as backing singers this week.

[2] Madonna: Borderline. “Stay tuned for Eastenders!” No, I'll pass thanks. What's on BBC2? A documentary about “poems about the hill-farmers of mid-Wales.” ITV? Falcon Crest... Channel 4 News? I think I'll watch the audience dancing and credits and then go upstairs and play Elite. Next week, Janice Long and Mike Read.

Performance of the week: Latin Quarter, Radio Africa

*Yes, Shaky Stevens. Apparently. (John- Shakin’s brother who failed to emulate his sibling’s career due to the derivative nature of songs like `Red Door`, `This New House` and `Happy Easter, Everyone`.)

20/02/86
Mike Read: “Good evening. Welcome to Top of the Pops as a special treat tonight I've brou... don't do that to my bottom... I've brought Janice Long along with me.” Janice Long: “You've got a nice bum. Coming up tonight we've got Public Image Ltd, we've also got Depeche Mode, but here to my right it's Carol Kenyon and it's Paul Hardcastle, Don’t Waste My Time.”

[13] Paul Hardcastle & Carol Kenyon: Don’t Waste My Time. Janice Long has not been driven into a frenzy by Mike Read's leather-clad buttocks. The whole thing is an elaborate hoax on Mike Read's part. Forensic video analysis reveals that Janice Long's hands are nowhere near Read's rear when he breaks off from his introduction. Why he feels the need to lie about this is anyone's guess. Maybe it's an ill-advised attempt to duplicate the searing Eastenders relationship between Lofty and Michelle Fowler. Paul Hardcastle and Carol Kenyon are generating more electricity than Long and Read but it could be static from Paul's nasty shiny suit; with rolled up sleeves, natch, because this is 1986 and anything goes fashionwise.

This is Paul Hardcastle's second appearance on Top of the Pops. Following a 5 week run at Number 1 with 19, Paul's first time on the programme came when he (and his keytar) supported D Train who were performing You’re The One For Me, 29/08/1986. It turns out Paul Hardcastle has his own Youtube channel and he's uploaded the D Train performance three separate times with the following comments; “Ha-ha what a laugh this was a great day,” and “This takes me back or makes me feel old ha-ha”. He's also upload this performance of Don't Waste My Time, which rather sweetly has the grandad-confused-by-new-technology title of “DONT WASTE TOTP iPhone.”

[4] Diana Ross: Chain Reaction. On video. 

[23] Depeche Mode: Stripped. Depeche Mode perform round a motorbike for reasons which never become clear. No one attempts to ride the hog.

Martin Gore's serial killer-esque chorus goes “let me see you stripped/Down to the bone.” I understand the sentiment you're aiming for but that's just terrifying, especially when the rest of the band start chanting “let me hear you crying just for me.” This is the kind of thing that gets Hannibal Lecter a one star score on dating websites. Might I suggest “let me see you stripped/Down to the soul.” It carries the same meaning without the invoking mental pictures of the cast of Taggart standing round a shallow grave.

[8] Survivor: Burning Heart. On video.

Top 40 Charts: “No Breakers,” says Janice Long. Will they be back next week, or have they gone the way of the Top 10 video countdown?

[11] Public Image Limited: Rise. “One of the best performances I've ever seen on the Pops,” enthuses Janice Long.

Top 10 Charts: Su Pollard at number 2? O tempora, o mores! Oh England! My lionheart.

[1] Billy Ocean: When The Going Gets Tough The Tough Get Going. A repeat studio performance from the 30/01/1986 edition. It's been a few months since we've had a repeated performance, the last time was 07/11/1985, when Jennifer Rush was at Number 1 with The Power Of Love.

[3] The Damned: Eloise. Alan Jeffery is back on Lighting duties this week, and he repeats his distinctive lighting routine from The Damned's studio performance on 06/02/1986. We close as always with the audience dancing, and credits, and shots of the crowd dancing round Depeche Mode's motorbike which has apparently been abandoned. Paul Jordan and Steve Wright next week.
Performance of the Week: Public Image Limited: Rise