Ten songs with odd lyrics

Song lyrics. We sing along with them, we puzzle about them, we laugh at them. Here’s a selection of ten song lyrics that are intriguing, odd or just plain weird…

Rocket Man- Elton John
“All the science I don’t understand, it’s just my job five days a week”. So despite not understanding the `science`, our Elt has somehow bagged a job as a Rocket Man. He is clearly one of these people who are so good at interviews they can blag their way into employment. I wonder what he actually said when the interview panel asked him about “all the science”? It must have been a genius answer.

 

Just don't ask him about all the science.

I Will Survive- Gloria Gaynor
“So you’re back, from outer space…” sings our wronged protagonist as she berates her errant partner over his sudden return. Whatever has happened between them though, you feel that Gloria is missing something quite important. He’s been in outer space FFS! He may be a scumbag but at least ask him about that eh?

I’m Gonna Be (500 Miles) - The Proclaimers
There’s four things about this song. First of all one of the examples of everyday things The Proclaimers do which they actually do just for her is “haver.” Well when does one haver? At first I thought this might be a Scottish pronunciation of `hover` perhaps referring to their helicopter or maybe they have the power of flight? But, no, what it actually means is talking foolishly or babbling. So one of the things they do for this poor woman is talk foolishly. Maybe this is the kernel of the whole song? Maybe they are lying about the five hundred miles they will walk, eh?

See their claims are unclear to begin with. What are they saying? “I would walk five hundred miles.” Ok. “And I would walk five hundred more.” Right. “Just to be the man who walks a thousand miles to fall down at your door.” If she was feeling mischevious or she actually didn’t like them at all when they’d completed this marathon she’d say “Ok now you have won the chance to walk a thousand miles!”

Course what the lovestruck brothers fail to consider throughout the song is what if she has gone out when they complete this momentous walk so she never believes they did it anyway? Or if it’s Lucy from the off licence she’d much rather have chocolates than a futile gesture liable to put the lads in hospital.

Finally, there are two of them! Are they both going to undertake this marathon or will there be subterfuge and cheating? Is there perhaps another song waiting down the line with the lyric “And you can walk five hundred miles, while I rush round the block and knock on her door.”

The brothers' 500 miles are obviously in different directions.

Feel It - The Tamperer feat Maya
This 2009 hit included the memorable chorus line “what’s she gonna look like with a chimney on her?” An angry song about an affair, the tone appears to suggest a scrap is in order “I’m ready if its fighting time” sings Maya. So is she really going to somehow ensure a chimney lands on top of her rival?

I wonder how she might do this- arrange to meet her at a certain time by the old mill, then pull a cord and a brick chimney falls on top of her. Even some hefty social distancing wouldn’t necessarily keep Maya safe from stray bricks. Maybe she will scale her rival’s house, loosen the chimney and when the latter leaves for work push the chimney over the edge. It is probable that actual chimneys are not really implied by the song, a “chimney” in this case being Irish slang for a black eye. The song is curious in another respect too as the lyrics say that while Maya is vowing her worst on this other girl, her bloke is exonerated from blame. The song is addressed to him and she declares; “Well I’m not blaming you.” Perhaps Maya would be better dropping a chimney on both of them!

Maya- chimney just out of shot.
 

Should I Stay or should I Go?- The Clash
Poor Joe Strummer spends this song agonising over a supposedly difficult decision when the answer is staring him in the face. “If I go there will be trouble,” he sings, “And if I stay it will be double.” Well go then, you wazzock! It’s only half as bad as staying. Funnily enough he only wrote this song when he couldn’t decide whether to stop in and watch Corrie or go out to the pub.

Fix You- Coldplay
“Lights will guide you home and ignite your bones.” One of The Cold’s big anthems, `Fix You` includes this bizarre observation. This is probably a reference to the time Chris was guided home after a power cut by lights which turned out to be his house on fire due to faulty wiring. This had to be `fixed` of course.

Champagne Supernova- Oasis
“Walking slowly down the hall, faster than a cannonball.” Quite apart from the meaninglessness of the title, `Champagne Supernova` the line “Walking slowly down the hall, faster than a cannonball” has been called out as making no sense by many a commentator. Yet it actually does if you think about it. If the cannonball has been rolled along the ground and there isn’t much of an incline on the floor or it’s carpeted, you could easily walk faster. Though if we’re talking about said ball being fired out of a cannon then it doesn’t make sense. Yet it is hard to conceive of any situation in which someone would fire a cannon indoors and someone else would just carry on walking, slowly, down the hall. They’d surely leap out of the way?

Call Me Maybe- Carly Rae Jepson
“Before you came into my life, I missed you so bad”.She’s been time travelling hasn’t she?

Jailbreak- Thin Lizzy
“Tonight there’s going to be a jailbreak” declares Phil Lynott, “somewhere here in this town.” Well, I think you could take an educated guess whereabouts that jailbreak might happen Phil?

Bohemian Rhapsody- Queen
How could we not end with this, surely the most nonsensical song lyric of all time? The main song itself is a typically melodramatic Queen thing but when you get to the operatic bit it seems like they are just singing the first thing that pops into their heads like “Gallileo”, “Figaro” or “Mamma Mia!” What does it all mean? Who the jiggins is Scaramouche? Why did they stop there when they could have added “Carravagio”,”Portfolio”, “banjo”, “Bongo”, “Pongo”…  It’s all very, very frightening.

Galileo turned up early for the video shoot.