Top of the Pops 1979 24/5/79

Shown on BBC4.

Watched by Chris Arnsby

Kid Jensen. "Hello and welcome to another all-star-studded Top of the Pops and this week's chart countdown is to the music of McFadden and Whitehead!"

Chart music: McFadden & Whitehead, Ain’t No Stoppin’ Us Now[25].

The Skids: Masquerade [29]. Richard Jobson: still prancing around on the stage like a pranny and his diction hasn't improved. " Heavy out of phase, the rattle's out of phase. Simon's still around the pizza's super but no one cares. I gave you a chance demand the music free. Listen to the boys disturbing ethically. Hurry to the hive. Masquerade! Masquerade!" The lyrics must be where Kit Williams got the idea for his puzzle book.

Roxy Music: Dance Away [2]. Footage from Snowtime Special: Abba In Switzerland. The programme is up on Youtube (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CuCCjjxALmY) although disappointingly the guest spots from Roxy Music and Kate Bush have been edited out; the most unkindest cut of all. Check out the excruciating scripted banter; watch the carefully edited footage at the start and try to decide if Abba really did get into that helicopter; see last week's Top of the Pops performance of Dancing Queen in its natural habitat; and wonder why this entry on Roxy Music has ended up talking about Abba. The answer is obvious. Abba>Roxy Music. 

Roxy Music: Bryan Ferry gets his hand caught in a trap while singing

Tubeway Army: Are 'Friends' Electric? [48]. Well are they? POP FACT: In 1984 Crystal Computing released a game called Tube Way Army for the Dragon 32 and TRS-80 computers.

Donna Summer: Hot Stuff [24]. A special effects extravaganza. This week Legs & Co are CSO'd in front of a gas fire. Occasionally they are also surrounded by a red-tinted version of the Blake's 7 teleport effect making the routine look like a disco Ready Brek advert.

Liner: You And Me [44]. Has anyone done the bin liner joke yet?

The Damned: Love Song [20]. A fantastically energetic performance from The Damned. Captain Sensible has come dressed as Orville the duck, and Dave Vanian is clowning around with a proper old school radio microphone.

Electric Light Orchestra: Shine A Little Love [14]. The hairy Brummies are back. POP FACT: According to Jasper Carrott, ELO drummer Bev Bevan never uses anything less than a hammer on any DIY job.

Dollar: Who Were You With In The Moonlight [33]. I wouldn't buy that for a dollar (etc.).

David Bowie: Boys Keep Swinging [9]. Some fine dancing from David Bowie in this promo; it's six years from here to the horror of the Dancing In The Street video. I've not come across this particular David Bowie track before and it's grown on me although my initial response was to recoil in horror while making the sign of the crucifix. Kid Jensen's baffling link after the song is," three cheers for the guys there, guess it beats being an avocado." I have no idea what this means. Were avocados funnier in 1979?

The Shadows: Theme From ‘The Deer Hunter’ (Cavatina) [21]. Things Hank Marvin never hears anyone say #12. "Hank Marvin's new single is brilliant!"

Elvis Costello & The Attractions: Accidents Will Happen [34]. The fickle Top of the Pops audience continue to task me with their mind games. They politely applaud Hank Marvin at the end of Theme From The Take Hart Art Gallery but they stand and stare sullenly at Elvis Costello. I don't understand what these people want.

Number 1, Blondie, Sunday Girl. Blondie's incredible run continues with their second number one of the year. The huge banner in the background is a subtle hint that this performance comes from TopPop Top of the Pop's sister show in the Netherlands.

Closing titles: Cheap Trick, I Want You To Want Me.

Performance of the week: The Damned, Love Song.  Are 'Friends' Electric is an influential song but The Damned are more fun to watch.